I recently posted a video on my youtube channel that was a catch up video, and in that video I talked about the latest hoovering attempt by my golden child sister, self care, and future video content ideas. Link to the video is located at the end of blog post.

I also talk about antidepressants in this video. I get that it can be a controversial subject. I may end up just taking it down.

To give a bit of background, I’ve always opted to take the antidepressants before I went to see a therapist. It was an option, and I felt horrible, so I would take it so I would stop feeling horrible. Why is it an option before people even go to talk to a mental health professional anyhow?

For the first time in my life, I have opted to go off antidepressants because I realized it wasn’t actually helping me, and I felt I could take some time to deal with everything without the use of antidepressants.

I went off Zoloft in June 2015, right before I discovered that my family is a toxic den of narcissists. I tried going on a different antidepressant in Dec 2015 because I was not doing well after going no contact and it being the first holiday season since. It gave me suicidal ideation, which I have never had before, so I stopped that one.

I have not been able to work for over two years now due to my symptoms. It is getting to be a bit much. I am isolating more, not less. I am anxious more, not less. I just want the horrible feelings to end!

If I want to be able to see a mental health professional that actually knows what they are talking about, I have to be working so I can use my benefits to pay for a qualified trauma therapist. I have given up on even going on interviews for jobs. I was turned away from working in my profession due to my anxiety. We cannot afford to pay a psychiatrist, nor can we afford to pay for an alternative doctor that is not covered by health care benefits.

I feel like I’m actually going crazy because I am an educated professional woman, but I can’t even concentrate and focus enough to write a blog on a regular basis.

If anybody would like to speak to me privately about how you feel that antidepressants have helped to give you a better quality of life while dealing with CPTSD I’d love to hear from you. You can message me privately on my channel by going to the about tab and clicking on “send message”. Alternatively, you can email me at pokingholeschannel@gmail.com.

If anybody can tell me about alternative medicines or supplements they take, I would love to hear about it also.