*Potential Trigger* I have a partial memory, which I dismissed from my mind the first few times I had it. In this memory, I am small and wearing a nightgown. That’s what us girls wore to bed to sleep in when we were little. It is like a long sleeved flannel dress. In this memory […]
The memories I have of my early childhood are very few and far between. All I have are my gut feelings. I’ve learned to trust those. You may call it your instincts or your intuition, but it’s all the same. I was alway afraid of my 2nd eldest sister. She was 8 when I was […]
I just had a memory of my mother shrieking and then yelling “why are you doing this to me?” My heart felt like a ball of fear. That’s all I could feel. Fear, and this tightness in my chest. Funny how a memory can make me feel the physical feelings of fear I felt as […]
They’re hoovering again…. If they really loved me they would leave me alone. They think they can make things go back to the way they were before. They can’t. Things can never go back to the way they were before. I know too much. The veil has been lifted and it cannot be replaced. It […]
I have been going through a lot of emotional turmoil this weekend. I don’t know what triggered it. Maybe passing by my sister after not seeing her for over a year. Maybe it’s the time of year getting to me. I’ve been feeling detached from life, but I think that is because I have been […]
It is 2:58 am. I am in my office. I came in here to write a blog post, but I keep shuffling papers and journals around and can’t shake this feeling of an impending emotional flashback. I am extremely irritable. I am sad. My self esteem is very low. I feel like I am a […]
Narcissistic abuse is so insidious that it is common to not realize what is going on before it is too late. By the time you realize something is wrong, you have already fallen victim to the manipulations and abusive tactics of the narcissist in your life and are suffering from the symptoms of complex post […]
https://youtu.be/pts3YOqTJQI What is CPTSD? CPTSD is a more severe form of PTSD. In his book, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Pete Walker lists the 5 most common features that differentiate CPTSD from PTSD. The 5 most common symptoms of CPTSD: emotional flashbacks toxic shame self abandonment a vicious inner/outer critic social anxiety CPTSD is […]
I was reading an article about PTSD. It was called “21 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because of Your PTSD”. (Link below) I was reading through the list, which consisted of survivors sharing things they do because of their PTSD. I was identifying with most of them. Then, I got to #17 and I […]