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Partial Memory of Child Sexual Abuse

3 Comments / child sexual abuse, complex ptsd, complex trauma, cptsd, crime of opportunity, csa, daughter of a narcissistic mother, donm, incest, partial memory, repressed memories /

*Potential Trigger* I have a partial memory, which I dismissed from my mind the first few times I had it.  In this memory, I am small and wearing a nightgown. That’s what us girls wore to bed to sleep in when we were little. It is like a long sleeved flannel dress.  In this memory

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Wash Your Mouth Out With Soap

Leave a Comment / c-ptsd, daughter of narcissistic mother, donm, gaslighting, physical assault, repressed memories, swearing /

#Potential Trigger* I’m going to start writing about the memories of abuse from my childhood that come to me, as they come to me. I’m not sure what prompted this particular memory, but here it is. If I swore my mother would take me to the bathroom and wash my mouth out with soap.  She

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Hoovering Again

Leave a Comment / c-ptsd, complex post traumatic stress disorder, complex ptsd, complex trauma, cptsd, donm, dysfunctional family, Narcissistic Abuse, narcissistic mother /

They’re hoovering again…. If they really loved me they would leave me alone. They think they can make things go back to the way they were before. They can’t. Things can never go back to the way they were before. I know too much. The veil has been lifted and it cannot be replaced. It

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Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers: Identifying What We Are Feeling

2 Comments / cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, daughter of a narcissistic mother, daughters of narcissistic mothers, donm, emotional flashbacks, feelings, Grief, karyl mcbride, triggered, will i ever be good enough /

It is 2:58 am. I am in my office. I came in here to write a blog post, but I keep shuffling papers and journals around and can’t shake this feeling of an impending emotional flashback. I am extremely irritable. I am sad. My self esteem is very low. I feel like I am a

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Creating Conflict because of my CPTSD

Leave a Comment / acon, anger, awakening, c-ptsd, complex post traumatic stress disorder, complex ptsd, conflict, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, critical, daughter of a narcissistic mother, donm, outer critic, ptsd, recovery /

I was reading an article about PTSD. It was called “21 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because of Your PTSD”. (Link below) I was reading through the list, which consisted of survivors sharing things they do because of their PTSD. I was identifying with most of them. Then, I got to #17 and I

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