lost child - Healing from CPTSD

Watch "CPTSD: Is the Freeze Response an Indicator of Early Childhood Trauma?" on YouTube

Jul 19, 2017Poking Holeschild abuse, children of narcissistic mothers, Children of Narcissistic parents, complex post traumatic stress disorder, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, daughters of narcissistic mothers, denial, depression, dissociation, dysfunctional families, Narcissistic Abuse, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, The Lost Childlost child

https://youtu.be/PQD4klK4Rvo This video was made on May 27th, 2017. I feel like I am stuck in a freeze state sometimes. That is my main response to trauma. I tend to freeze and dissociate by distracting myself or zoning out. When I’m feeling especially triggered I tend to be drawn to my bed and want […]

My Scapegoat Sister – "It isn't just the golden children that become narcissists"

Apr 5, 2017Poking Holesc-ptsd, children of narcissistic mothers, Children of Narcissistic parents, complex post traumatic stress disorder, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, daughters of narcissistic mothers, denial, dysfunctional families, family dysfunction, golden child, Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse, narcissistic families, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, No Contact, The Lost Child, The Scapegoat Childborderline personality disorder, bpd, golden child sister, lost child, my story, narc mom, narcissistic mom, narcissistic moms, narcissistic mother, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic parent, scapegoat sister, the truth

Growing up, we were close, both in age, and emotionally. We have always been mistaken as twins, and still to this day somebody will call one of us by the other’s name. I noticed things changing when she became a teenager and was drinking a lot and getting into trouble. Contrary to what you hear about […]

Dysfunctional Family Roles: The Lost Child

Mar 22, 2017Poking Holesc-ptsd, children of narcissistic mothers, Children of Narcissistic parents, CPTSD Recovery, daughters of narcissistic mothers, depression, dysfunctional families, family, family dynamic, family dysfunction, golden child, healing, Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse, narcissistic abuse recovery, narcissistic families, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, The Lost Child, Videochild abuse, childhood trauma, complex post traumatic stress disorder, complex ptsd, cptsd, dysfunctional family roles, lost child, narcissistic mothers, scapegoat child

I am the lost child of my dysfunctional family. This is an introduction to role of the lost child in a dysfunctional family. Children from dysfunctional families who have been traumatically abused or abandoned develop Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). https://youtu.be/L4bGJnY62_o

My Body Remembers – Somatic Flashbacks

Dec 6, 2016Poking HolesCPTSD Recoveryanxiety, anxiety attack, baby girl, complex post traumatic stress disorder, complex ptsd, complex trauma, cptsd, daughter of narcissistic mother, daughters, depression, dissociation, donm, emotional abuse, emotional flashback, emotional injury, emotional manipulation, golden child sister, lost child, malignant narcissist, mental health, my story, Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse, panic attack, recovery, scapegoat sister, sisters, somatic flashback, somatic memory, somatic pain, trigger

I think somebody hurt me really bad when I was little…too little to remember. I can’t be sure who, but at such a young age it can only be somebody from my immediate family of origin. I think it was either my narcissistic mother, or my 2nd eldest sister who I believe is a malignant […]

Narcissistic Abuse: My Golden Child Sister

Nov 24, 2016Poking Holesgolden child, narcissistic abuse recovery, No Contactcomplex post traumatic stress disorder, complex ptsd, cptsd, daughters of narcissistic mothers, discard, hoovering, lost child, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, npd, scapegoat, sisters

I always looked up to her. I always sought her opinion on important matters. I always looked forward to sharing things with her, and having long talks with her about whatever. I always had her best interests at heart. That was until, I realized the truth. When my golden child sister and narcissistic mother discarded […]

CPTSD: Today Was Not A Good Day

Nov 24, 2016Poking HolesUncategorizedanxiety, complex post traumatic stress disorder, complex ptsd, cptsd, daughters of narcissistic mothers, depression, emotional flashback, emotional injury, inner critic, lost child, Narcissistic Abuse, poem, poetry

I am a mess.
I keep trying to look for something that is going to help me to feel “normal” again.

Narcissism: I'm the Lost Child of my family

Sep 19, 2015Poking Holescptsd, The Lost Childdaughter of narcissistic mother, daughters of narcissistic mothers, dysfunctional family, golden child, lost child, scapegoat

I think I was wrong about being a former golden child. I don’t think I ever was. I was/am the lost child. I was/am shy and introverted. I worshiped my narcissistic mother and narcissistic golden child sister so they would love me. When I began to speak up and call them on their bullshit, they […]