complex post traumatic stress disorder

Creating Conflict because of my CPTSD

I was reading an article about PTSD. It was called “21 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because of Your PTSD”. (Link below) I was reading through the list, which consisted of survivors sharing things they do because of their PTSD. I was identifying with most of them. Then, I got to #17 and I […]

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We Remember

It’s the oddest thing. KNOWING something happened, yet not having a complete visual memory. It’s coming back to me. Bit by bit. I have a partial memory. It’s the beginning of something happening. The part just before my brain says something is not right, and survival mode takes over. I’m going to make sure people

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Narcissistic Abuse: Sometimes, it is the Not Knowing

When it comes to narcissistic abuse, especially that of the covert variety, it can be hard for us to put a finger on what is happening to us. Your awareness is limited to the knowledge that there is an internal struggle within. The struggle is for your awareness. The innate response is to block it

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Watch "On Being Silenced By My Narcissistic Mother" on YouTube

Watch "On Being Silenced By My Narcissistic Mother" on YouTube Read More »

Watch "CPTSD: Having the Courage to be Vulnerable" on YouTube

Watch "CPTSD: Having the Courage to be Vulnerable" on YouTube Read More »

Watch "CPTSD: Is the Freeze Response an Indicator of Early Childhood Trauma?" on YouTube

  This video was made on May 27th, 2017. I feel like I am stuck in a freeze state sometimes. That is my main response to trauma. I tend to freeze and dissociate by distracting myself or zoning out. When I’m feeling especially triggered I tend to be drawn to my bed and want to

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On Being Silenced by Narcissistic Mother

As a young child, I was silenced. Anything that could cause my narcissistic mother to feel bad would invoke a psychotic shriek fest and physical assault, which was enough to traumatize anybody into silence.  I became that shy quiet kid that would play quietly with her dolls and try not to make mommy angry. I

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