my story - Healing from CPTSD

Corporal Punishment/ "SPANKING" is CHILD ABUSE

Jul 19, 2017Poking Holes1 Commentchildren of narcissistic mothers, Children of Narcissistic parents, corporal punishment, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, dysfunctional families, family dysfunction, Narcissistic Abuse, narcissistic families, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, physical assaultchild abuse, childhood trauma, complex post traumatic stress disorder, daughters of narcissistic mothers, discipline, force, hitting, my story, narcissistic moms, physical abuse, physical violence, spanking

In Canada, the country that I live in, the use of physical force on children is an exception to the Criminal Code of Canada. It is illegal to hit someone else, but if you are their parent or legal guardian you are allowed to hit your kids from ages 2 to a teenager. As long […]

Watch "Stockholm Syndrome: Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother" on YouTube

May 21, 2017Poking HolesCPTSD Recoverycomplex post traumatic stress disorder, complex ptsd, my story, Stockholm syndrome, Symptoms of CPTSD, trauma bond

I am the daughter of a narcissistic mother, and I have Stockholm Syndrome. Stockholm Syndrome is a strong emotional bond between an abused person and their abuser, also known as a Trauma Bond. Victims of Stockholm Syndrome develop compassion and loyalty toward their abusers/captors.
In this video I give an explanation of Stockholm Syndrome, how it relates to narcissistic abuse, and finally how it relates to my experience being the daughter of a narcissistic mother.

Resources:
Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser by Joseph M. Carver, PH.D., Clinical Psychologist
http://drjoecarver.makeswebsites.com/clients/49355/File/love_and_stockholm_syndrome.html

Disclaimer:
I am not a mental health professional nor am I an academic expert on Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or complex post traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). I am here to share my story, both past and present, as I continue on a journey of awakening and recovery from CPTSD.

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My Scapegoat Sister – "It isn't just the golden children that become narcissists"

Apr 5, 2017Poking Holesc-ptsd, children of narcissistic mothers, Children of Narcissistic parents, complex post traumatic stress disorder, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, daughters of narcissistic mothers, denial, dysfunctional families, family dysfunction, golden child, Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse, narcissistic families, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, No Contact, The Lost Child, The Scapegoat Childborderline personality disorder, bpd, golden child sister, lost child, my story, narc mom, narcissistic mom, narcissistic moms, narcissistic mother, narcissistic mothers, narcissistic parent, scapegoat sister, the truth

Growing up, we were close, both in age, and emotionally. We have always been mistaken as twins, and still to this day somebody will call one of us by the other’s name. I noticed things changing when she became a teenager and was drinking a lot and getting into trouble. Contrary to what you hear about […]

When the Narcissistic Mother Hoovers

Apr 5, 2017Poking Holesc-ptsd, children of narcissistic mothers, Children of Narcissistic parents, complex post traumatic stress disorder, cptsd, CPTSD Recovery, daughters of narcissistic mothers, dysfunctional families, family dysfunction, golden child, healing, mindfulness, Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse, narcissistic abuse recovery, narcissistic families, Narcissistic Grandmother, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, No Contact, Videoanxiety, depression, emotional flashbacks, hoovering, mental health, my story, narcissistic mother, narcissistic mothers, no contact, story time, youtube

I got a text from my narcissistic mother on Sunday. I haven’t received any communication from her for over a year because I had her blocked from my phone. Somehow, she got through anyway. I am feeling very triggered by this. I keep catching myself getting pulled into an emotional flashback several times a day. […]

My First Period Story as the Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother

Mar 1, 2017Poking Holesc-ptsd, children of narcissistic mothers, Children of Narcissistic parents, complex post traumatic stress disorder, CPTSD Recovery, daughters of narcissistic mothers, dysfunctional families, Narcissistic Abuse, narcissistic abuse recovery, narcissistic families, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, perimenopause, psychological disorders, psychology, ptsd, The Lost Child, Videoanxiety, complex ptsd, complex trauma, cptsd, daughters, embarrassment, enabling father, first period story, fishing story, humiliation, mental health, my story, Narcissism, narcissistic mother, narcissistic parent, recovery, shame, story time, toxic mom, vlog

https://youtu.be/VJ6C86HMRxU

My Body Remembers – Somatic Flashbacks

Dec 6, 2016Poking HolesCPTSD Recoveryanxiety, anxiety attack, baby girl, complex post traumatic stress disorder, complex ptsd, complex trauma, cptsd, daughter of narcissistic mother, daughters, depression, dissociation, donm, emotional abuse, emotional flashback, emotional injury, emotional manipulation, golden child sister, lost child, malignant narcissist, mental health, my story, Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse, panic attack, recovery, scapegoat sister, sisters, somatic flashback, somatic memory, somatic pain, trigger

I think somebody hurt me really bad when I was little…too little to remember. I can’t be sure who, but at such a young age it can only be somebody from my immediate family of origin. I think it was either my narcissistic mother, or my 2nd eldest sister who I believe is a malignant […]

What is CPTSD & Can I Recover From it?

Nov 27, 2016Poking Holeschildren of narcissistic mothers, Children of Narcissistic parents, CPTSD Recovery, mindfulness, Narcissistic Abuse, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Videoc-ptsd, child abuse, childhood trauma, complex post traumatic stress disorder, complex ptsd, cptsd, daughters of narcissistic mothers, healing, mental health, my story, Narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, narcissistic abuse victim syndrome, recovery, Symptoms of CPTSD, youtube

This is episode 2 in the series: “CPTSD Recovery” by Poking Holes on Youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5onCtcEU_pEJXVq3huH_Pw